


He doth teach the torches to burn bright

by consultingcas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Dean is a jerk, Episode: s10e03 Soul Survivor, Gen, Implied Crowley/Dean Winchester, John Winchester is a homophobic asshole, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:21:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2494235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consultingcas/pseuds/consultingcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Soul Survivor" deleted scenes. As Cas and Sam administer the final injections, Dean says some unpleasant truths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He doth teach the torches to burn bright

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely loved the latest episode, but hated the lack of any real scenes between Cas and Demon!Dean so couldn't resist writing a fic on it. Feel free to check out my tumblr, also consultingcas, where I usually post about the fics I'm working on. People who comment are lovely and make my day :D
> 
> Title taken from "Romeo and Juliet", on which I am supposed to be writing an essay instead of writing gay fanfiction.

“Even now, you can’t keep your hands off of me, eh angel?”  
Dean had soon given up struggling as Sam and Cas dragged him back to the dungeon. Sam had found another pair of cuffs to chain him up in and even in his weakened state, Cas’s hold on him was too tight to shake off. Stupid son of a bitch didn’t know when to let go.

Not that it stopped Dean from trying to rankle the angel enough to make him loosen his grip. The way Cas was restraining him, he couldn’t see the angel’s face and Cas didn’t deign to respond to his verbal beating. From Sam’s worried looks it wasn’t hard to conclude that Dean was probably succeeding in irritating his former friend, though.

“If I was human now and you had me tied up like this, you’d want nothing more than to fuck me senseless. Don’t think I didn’t see the way you used to look at me. Then again, you don’t mind demons that much, do you? It didn’t stop you with Meg, after all. Maybe it’s just me then that you can’t stand like this. Pity. I could’ve shown you a good time. Crowley taught me some tricks you might’ve liked.”  
“Enough, Dean.” So, the idea of him doing the dirty with Crowley was the first thing to provoke a reaction. Interesting. Then again, the demon’s name alone might have been enough to irritate Cas: he’d never exactly been good at picking up on innuendos.  
They were heading into the dungeon now. If he wanted to break free, he didn’t have much time. “Oh, am I bothering you, babe? Don’t you like me talking about your former boyfriend? You didn’t seem to mind him so much when you were screwing around with him behind my back.”  
“I said, enough!” Cas shoved him hard into the devil’s trap, spinning him round so he was forced to look at the angel. That was when he saw it. Cas’s face. His true face.

Dean used to hate how he could see monsters’ true faces. Even though he liked it, being without the pain and the guilt, the reminder of how far he’d fallen was too much. He avoided looking in mirrors for that very reason. Crowley and the other demons weren’t exactly pretty faces beneath their meatsuits either. For Cas, though, he might make an exception to that rule.

Castiel was light. There was no other way to describe it. It was almost too bright to look at, Cas’s presence dominating the room. Dean hadn’t believed Cas before when he said that his true form was the size of the Chrysler building, but now he was sure that Cas was just being modest. Occasionally, glowing tendrils poured from the angel’s being. One of them brushed against Dean, caressing his face lightly. He could sense Cas in the light: the real Cas, the soldier who had been around for millennia, not just the dorky angel in a trenchcoat that he’d come to care for. It felt wrong to see Cas like this, baring the innermost core of his being. Idly, Dean wondered if it had been like this for the angel when he’d dragged the hunter’s soul out of Hell. There was damage there too. Dean could see how the borrowed grace was slowly burning out, blazing all the more brilliantly for its fleeting glory.

But even so, like this, Cas was beautiful. Whatever his mixed feelings about the angel were, there was no denying it. The demon within him was repulsed by the sight. He wanted to torture Cas with everything Alistair had ever taught time. He wanted to see how long it would take to break him. Angels were vermin after all. Dean wanted to destroy every last one of the flying dicks. But he couldn’t help but love Cas’s true form as well, somewhere deep within the part of his shredded soul that was still human, the part that the blood purification had managed to heal.

Cas didn’t seem to have noticed Dean’s sharp intake of breath and kept speaking as he tied the demon up. Too focused on the angel, Dean hardly noticed “We will finish the purification and we will get the real you back. Trying to bait us is not going to change that.”  
“Yeah, right, like everything’s going to go back to normal and we’re all going to sit round a campfire singing Kumbaya. If you didn’t have me trussed up, I’d happily slit both of your throats.”  
“Nevertheless, we’re going to fix this. You’re my friend. I refuse to give up on you now, after everything we’ve been through.” Cas’s expression was unreadable. “I can deal with the last few injections, Sam. Sit down and have a rest. You’ve been through a lot.”  
“Thanks, Cas.” Sam looked grateful. “I don’t know if I can deal with much more of this. Call me when you’re going to do the last injection.”  
As Sam moved towards the door, Dean called after him. “Yeah, that’s right, go ahead and leave. That’s what you always do when things get too tough. You bailed on Dad, you’ve ditched me more times than I care to remember. What’s one more time?”  
Sam didn’t look back.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................

Cas only had a few more injections to go now. If Dean was going to make him stop, there wasn’t much time.  
“You know somethin’? Even after all this, everything you do for me, the old me is still not gonna give a rat’s ass about you. Oh, I know you’re crazy about me. Wouldn’t take a genius to work that one out. Truth is, I just don’t care.”  
“You’re lying.”  
“Why would I lie? The truth is so much better. Here’s the kicker, if you were a hot girl, I’d be all over you. But thanks to my dear old dad, guys are off limits. You know he caught me with a guy once? I had scratches and bruises on my arms for weeks. I said it was a werewolf when anyone asked.” Dean laughed mirthlessly.  
Cas forcefully pushed the needle into Dean’s arm. “We’re not talking about this. This isn’t really you, Dean. You don’t know what you’re saying.”  
“What? Can’t face facts? I didn’t take you for such a child, Cas.” Dean’s voice was soft and full of bitterness. “But then, that’s all you are really. Just a baby in a trenchcoat who screws up everything he touches. Heaven’s only gone to shit ‘cause of you. At least as a human, you couldn’t do any damage. Still didn’t mean I wanted you round though. You’ve walked out on me enough times, why shouldn’t I get to do the same to you?”  
On and on it went, Dean’s accusations of Cas’s past wrongs. There were plenty to choose from and now he was a demon, he didn’t care how much he hurt his former friend. He simply laughed. A few silent tears fell from Cas’s eyes as he worked, desperately trying to cure what was left of the man he’d saved. That just made Dean laugh even more.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................

When it was all over, Dean could hardly look Cas in the eye when he came to the hunter’s room. He pretended to be intently looking at family photographs as the angel walked in. Things were a little stilted between them, but that was to be expected. Hell, he’d said far too much crap. Shit that should never have seen the light of day.

Cas appeared to be willing to avoid the subject if that’s what Dean wanted, though. He didn’t push the issue and except from a comment about having some woman waiting in the car, made no attempt to mention what had been said. Dean couldn’t figure out if there really was some chick Cas liked out in the garage or if it was just some ploy to make him jealous. Either way, that wasn’t going to be enough. Cas should have someone better than him, someone with less hang-ups who wouldn’t become a demon and go on a killing spree. He’d be better off not talking about whatever there was between them. All that’d happen is someone would get hurt.

As Cas opened the door to leave, Dean called after him. “Hey, you know that stuff I said was all a load of bullshit, right?”  
“Yes, of course.” Cas was now the one studiously avoiding eye-contact. “There’s no need to mention it. I hope you feel better soon. Goodbye, Dean.”  
Dean watched the angel head off down the corridor. Only when Cas was long gone and his bedroom door was closed did he allow himself to cry.


End file.
